destiny and fate

Destiny is to be fulfilled. It does not show as awards, accomplishments and achievements. To fulfill your destiny is to realize your potential. To be the best of who you are born to be in this world. Therefore destiny is not a singular place, it can have degrees of fulfillment.

Fate on the other hand is all that life throws at you that appear as obstacles and distractions on your way to fulfilling your destiny.

These obstacles and distractions do not need to be perceived as a way to feel like a victim of life. As they appear, and they most certainly will, we can go through them, around them or over them and then subsequently use them as fuel to keep us motivated and focused on the realization of our true potential.

Fate and destiny are two inevitable aspects of living the life of a human in this world of duality. See them both, yet "keep your eye on the prize", that of fulfilling your destiny, your true potential.

realizing our potential

No one can walk your road of this lifetime for you. Although we are not in this world alone, we are on a solitary path. It is unique to each of us. No one can tell us exactly where our straight line is. It is up to each of us to find it.

When we observe others to whom we aspire to, those who we see as having reached their own potential or moving toward reaching that potential as a human being, it is not the details of their lives that we are looking to follow. If we do that, we only become a cheap imitation and never find our own way.

What we are looking to do is distill the principles that guide those to whom we aspire and live a life based on principle. When we live a life based on principle, there will be a foundation for the details that form our individual life. In this way we will walk strong and straight on the road to realizing our own potential.

stress

Most everyone I know wants to know that they matter. They want to know they are worthwhile. They want to be of use. The down side of this human quality is that partly due to this we experience stress. Let me explain with an analogy.

If a bridge were built that no one was allowed to cross than it is of no use. It is simply decoration or an exercise in engineering. However bridges are built for a reason, to be use. If nothing comes across the bridge, there is no stress and no wear and tear. However as soon as something comes across, there is a force which puts a strain on the bridge, stress.

Now, each bridge is built with a different weight load limit. Usually there is a sign posted. Let's say on a particular bridge there is a sign posting a load limit of 5000 pounds. If a bicycle crosses, the stress is imperceptible. However, if it is a 3000 pound car the stress is tolerable yet it does put wear on the bridge. If it is just one or two cars a day, no problem. If that increases to a constant flow of car traffic the wear and tear become more. Even within the weight load and frequency limit there is still maintenance that is going to be needed. 

Now, if a 10,000 pound truck comes across the bridge the bridge may fail or at least be in need of major repair. So for the most part a truck heavier than the weight load limit is not allowed to go across a bridge.

Using this analogy to our lives, like the bridge we all want to be of use and we each have a different weight load limit. We each can handle a different amount of stress. So it is important to know what sign you need to put out each day (since we are people and not bridges, we change each day) and only let across what we can handle.

At the same time by putting in daily effort into building up our system; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, we are regularly maintaining our bridge and with consistent effort we then are able to allow heavier loads to comes across with more frequency and it does not do damage.

When damage does occur we have the ability to shut down our bridge for repairs, or letting only necessary traffic across. In short, taking a break from being of use and healing ourselves so we can once again be of use.

In addition to the seen forces of the vehicles coming across a bridge there is also the unseen forces that are out of our control. The wind, rain, and perhaps the river below. A major flood can take down a sturdy bridge. The wind and rain can erode a bridge over time. Just like our lives there are many unseen forces that are not in our control. 

So in the end, stress in unavoidable. We don't look to remove it from our lives. We work on building and maintaining ourselves, limiting the amount to what we can appropriately handle to deal with the controllable stresses of life. We can then trust and have faith we will have all the strength needed so we can handle those forces and stresses that are beyond our control.

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small happiness, big joy

This wonderful world we live in has an abundance of things to enjoy. These gifts are all around us in nature. They can also show up in the enjoyment of our vocation, listening to, or playing music, living in a nice home, and perhaps even hanging out eating a pizza and drinking a beer. The ways for us to enjoy this life on this planet are countless and can be different for all of us.

These things can bring us small happiness and can either be harmful to our health and spirit or can serve to improve our health and nourish our spirit. I do not feel I need to go into details as to which are which, as I am sure, when you are honest with yourself, you can discern the difference.

So why do I use the term small happiness? It is because all of these are fleeting. They can come and go, and they do. They also have the primary objective of satisfying the ego and pacifying the emotions. This does not mean we do not want them in our lives since life is to be enjoyed.

There is another deeper type of happiness, one in which we are at peace. One that is not dependent on whether or not we are having a pleasant experience. I call this Big Joy! It is the joy and peace that come from our original spirit being fulfilled.


When we have the temporary experience of small happiness life can be fun, at the moment. However once that is over we will have a need for the next temporary happiness to leave us feeling good. Conversely, when we are living in the experience of Big Joy, which only requires us to stay open, connected to the moment regardless of what it has to offer, and engaged in that experience, life becomes truly Joyful. We can say we are at peace.

Along with being at peace with whatever our mind and emotions are going through at that moment this helps us to become clear on our bigger purpose which leads to an even bigger joy.

So the next time life throws you a curve ball or becomes overwhelming, understand that what is going on is not happening to you. You are simply having an experience and allow yourself to let go of small happiness for the time being and find Big Joy!

With Big Joy, small happiness is easy.

sincerity

Picture this scenario. You are at a restaurant for a special occasion. The meal is high quality, the atmosphere is beautiful and you are with someone you love. Now here are two ways this can play out.

First, you are looking around noticing what all the other diners are doing and talking about, you are watching the waiters do their job, and perhaps even your cell phone tells you that a text just came in and you respond to it.

Another way this can play out is your whole world is at that table. You have no clue as to what is going on around you. All that exists is the tastes and smell of the food and the other person sitting across from you. You spend your time in deep conversation and gazing into each others eyes.

We have all experienced both and I know that the second feels so much better than the first.

In the first scenario there is no connection and no sincerity in anything you may say or do. In the second you are fully engaged in what is happening in that moment and nothing else matters. Everything you say or do will be done with sincerity.

Now the same holds true in meditation, Tai chi practice and prayer. We are looking for sincerity in all of these. When moving through my Tai chi form I gaze lovingly into the "eyes of Tai chi". When in meditation I look with adoration at dantian. When in prayer there is nothing but the connection of love between Spirit and I.

If we do not approach them with sincere love and attention, we can go through the proper physical motions of all the above and have nothing but surface level benefit to show for it. We must be fully engaged and allow ourselves to fall in love with that which is right in front of and within us. The attitude we bring to our practice is as important as the physical practice itself.

10,000 blows with the hammer to make a sword

 Master Chen has said, “It takes 10,000 blows with the hammer to make the sword”.  This is also what it takes to go beyond the ordinary. With this mindset, the current depth of our happiness can go so far beyond anything we have ever known or even knew existed.  The following relates two ways in which I am striking blows with the hammer.

Master Chen once told the following story. He was at his daughter’s school and heard a young person say "Life sucks". His emphatic response was, "It is not life that sucks, it is your mind that sucks". The image still brings a smile to my face.
Well, one day recently while engaging my daily standing meditation practice, I noticed over the 1/2 hour how my energy would frequently rise, which would be followed by my back and shoulders. Each time this would occur, I would use my mind intent to let the energy drop which would be followed by my body. At some point during this meditation I realized there was nothing going on around me. I was in the early morning quiet of my backyard and that it was my mind that was making the energy rise. The Qi was going where the mind was going. There was nothing happening that should be the cause of this rising energy. So this being the case, I could then no longer blame the goings on in my life for my energy rising. It is my own mind, not life that creates this. In turn this also gives me great control over my life, all I have to do is turn inward and change my mind and the energy will settle and center. Freedom.

One more refinement I would like to share that has had profound effect.  A few weeks back I noticed that everyone around me spends a good part of their conversation speaking of others, many of these times is not in a positive way. I knew that if everyone else is doing this, then I am also doing it because I am part of everyone. So I made the conscious choice to "speak ill of no man". I would not look for something positive to say, I would simply go to silence if there was not something positive or constructive to say. I pay attention to this all the time, striking the hammer so to speak, and will do so until it becomes my natural state of being. The effect has been profound.
This is using the external to change the internal. By practicing at not speaking poorly of others, I also do not speak poorly of myself, no judgement. This practice allows me to remain silent, speaking much less, turning inward more often, which is conserving my energy and leading into a more peaceful state of being.
 I will keep striking the sword with the hammer. Practice, practice, practice.

not being afraid of the ugliness

When we have experienced the ugliness of life, (i.e trauma or difficulty) which we all have, it often informs the actions of our present situation. One way this shows is we fear the ugliness of life. We do not want to once again go through painful or difficult situations., so we base our present actions due to what has been and our fear of what is to become. We become a  perpetual victim of past trauma.  However we no longer need to carry the past and we do not need to fear the ugliness or messiness of life.

Since the ugliness cannot be avoided we must learn to deal with it on our terms. How do we do this?

As we are going through a difficult or painful situation, go through it with the intent that the goal is to come out of the situation clear. That is to say we do not want to carry the situation into the future. That when it is over, it is over.

We do this by simply feeling the experience as we are feeling it, without trying to change it.
We do not want to be carried away by the changing flow of life, we want to choose to follow, which in turn allows us to dis-engage or engage on our terms. We are no longer compelled to act based on a past experience or the fear of the future.

 Do not be afraid of the ugliness in life. Live in the present with the goal in mind of not carrying it into the future so the past can be healed.