Recently I read a Facebook post by someone who said that while warming up for an exercise class at her gym she saw a particular news item come across the TV on CNN. It bothered her very much.
My first thought to this post was not what happened on CNN but the fact that her mind was on CNN while her body was warming up to exercise. Every gym in this country have TV's blaring while people are exercising. This does not mean it is good for us.
Watching TV while exercising the body is like a car moving without a driver. Another way to put it, try connecting with your spouse in a meaningful way while focusing on a TV program.
While we are engaged in a physical exercise that is desgined to improve our health, why would you want to be anywhere else with your mind? The mind MUST be engaged to not only keep from getting hurt, but to realize the full benefit of the exercise.
In Tai chi chuan, if the mind is not engaged while going through the movements, you cannot even say you are practicing Tai chi chuan.
If you feel a need to distract your mind while exercising, for whatever reason, then maybe it is time to find a new exercise in which you no longer feel a need to disengage.
I know I always feel much better and get better result when the mind, breath and body are all in alignment, no matter what I am doing.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
being different
I want to begin by saying this post is not about parenting but about a lesson I learned while in the process of parenting.
The other day my daughter Jade was playing with two other friends in the brook across the street from our house. As I sat there observing, I watched as one of her friends kicked stones and water at Jade while her back was turned. Jade immediately turned around and retaliated by kicking stones and water right back at her friend.
I was quick to tell Jade in a very firm voice not to do that. To her credit she did not react to my reprimand by pointing the finger at her friend and saying "But she..." She just stopped, walked away and resumed playing in the brook.
When we returned home I told her I saw that her friend had done it first and I understood why she did what she did. I asked her though if she understood why I told her not to do it. She didn't know. I asked her if she liked what her friend did to her. Of course she said no. So I said to her that if she did what her friend did, she would be acting in a way she did not like. That if she did not like it in her friend, she would not like it in herself.
The moral of this story is we do not want to react to another persons actions that we do not like with the same action. We want to be different. We want to act in a way that we like.
In the end, one way gives us temporary satisfaction with the long term result in not liking who we are. The other way is to take the high road and forgo reaction and revenge for a long term result of feeling right within our own skin.
The other day my daughter Jade was playing with two other friends in the brook across the street from our house. As I sat there observing, I watched as one of her friends kicked stones and water at Jade while her back was turned. Jade immediately turned around and retaliated by kicking stones and water right back at her friend.
I was quick to tell Jade in a very firm voice not to do that. To her credit she did not react to my reprimand by pointing the finger at her friend and saying "But she..." She just stopped, walked away and resumed playing in the brook.
When we returned home I told her I saw that her friend had done it first and I understood why she did what she did. I asked her though if she understood why I told her not to do it. She didn't know. I asked her if she liked what her friend did to her. Of course she said no. So I said to her that if she did what her friend did, she would be acting in a way she did not like. That if she did not like it in her friend, she would not like it in herself.
The moral of this story is we do not want to react to another persons actions that we do not like with the same action. We want to be different. We want to act in a way that we like.
In the end, one way gives us temporary satisfaction with the long term result in not liking who we are. The other way is to take the high road and forgo reaction and revenge for a long term result of feeling right within our own skin.
Monday, July 18, 2011
a different question
Recently I overheard someone ask another person "Why did you do that?" The person being asked the question had done something the questioner found inappropriate. The question was not asked looking for an answer, but asked as a condemnation of the action. The question was met with silence. It could easily have been met with a lie, a justification or an attempt at explaining.
My guess is, if someone asks that question, an explanation is somewhat futile since that person is already in a state in which they are not looking to understand but are in a state of judgement. Of course, there are times the question is genuine and the questioner is looking to truly understand.
Perhaps if the case is which you do want to understand the other person, a different question you can ask is " Are you aware of what you just did?" This gives the person the opportunity to look inward to their own motivations without the judgement of others.
We can save the question of "Why did we do that?" for ourselves. Better yet, prior to acting ask the question "Why am I doing what I am doing?".
This is one of the three question I suggest to ask of ourselves in The Way of the Voice of Peace, which lead us out of the triangle game of being a victim, persecutor or hero (rescuer).
My guess is, if someone asks that question, an explanation is somewhat futile since that person is already in a state in which they are not looking to understand but are in a state of judgement. Of course, there are times the question is genuine and the questioner is looking to truly understand.
Perhaps if the case is which you do want to understand the other person, a different question you can ask is " Are you aware of what you just did?" This gives the person the opportunity to look inward to their own motivations without the judgement of others.
We can save the question of "Why did we do that?" for ourselves. Better yet, prior to acting ask the question "Why am I doing what I am doing?".
This is one of the three question I suggest to ask of ourselves in The Way of the Voice of Peace, which lead us out of the triangle game of being a victim, persecutor or hero (rescuer).
Saturday, July 16, 2011
obstacles
My daughter Jade plays violin and I play guitar. When my daughter first began playing I would have her put her violin back in the case each time she was done and I would do the same with my guitar. We then purchased a wall rack for her violin and a stand for my guitar. The result, we both play more often and play when the spirit moves us. We don't have to think about it, we just do it.
Conversely, when I was 21 and wanted to quit smoking, I wrapped a number of rubber bands around the pack. I also put my matches far away from the pack. In addition, I had a little chart that I would list the time, how badly I wanted it, my emotional state and a few other things. In short I put obstacles in my way of the behaviour I knew was diminishing my health. The result was within three weeks I no longer smoked and I have not since.
I teach the same concept to women for self defense. If you are in a small space and someone is getting aggressive, put an obstacle in the way such as a chair or table. In this way the aggressor has time to think about their actions as well as making them have to go past something to get to them. It is no longer easy.
So the idea is we have three types of actions. One is to nourish our spirit, second is to diminish our spirit, third is neutral.
If you are interested in nourishing your spirit then remove as many obstacles as you can so you can do it without having to go through something else which may distract or discourage you from doing it.
If you are engaging in a behaviour which diminishes your spirit then put some obstacles in the way. Something that makes it an effort just to engage in the action.
If it is neutral, then if it is fun, productive or necessary you will want to or need to do it and you will.
Becoming conscious of your actions and obstacles is the way to discipline and peace.
Conversely, when I was 21 and wanted to quit smoking, I wrapped a number of rubber bands around the pack. I also put my matches far away from the pack. In addition, I had a little chart that I would list the time, how badly I wanted it, my emotional state and a few other things. In short I put obstacles in my way of the behaviour I knew was diminishing my health. The result was within three weeks I no longer smoked and I have not since.
I teach the same concept to women for self defense. If you are in a small space and someone is getting aggressive, put an obstacle in the way such as a chair or table. In this way the aggressor has time to think about their actions as well as making them have to go past something to get to them. It is no longer easy.
So the idea is we have three types of actions. One is to nourish our spirit, second is to diminish our spirit, third is neutral.
If you are interested in nourishing your spirit then remove as many obstacles as you can so you can do it without having to go through something else which may distract or discourage you from doing it.
If you are engaging in a behaviour which diminishes your spirit then put some obstacles in the way. Something that makes it an effort just to engage in the action.
If it is neutral, then if it is fun, productive or necessary you will want to or need to do it and you will.
Becoming conscious of your actions and obstacles is the way to discipline and peace.
Friday, July 8, 2011
learning not to complain
Often times we are faced with distasteful or annoying situations. It is easy for our first reaction to voice our displeasure, maybe to anyone who will listen. However , if we pay attention to how we feel while we are complaining, and after we are done, we will realize that most of the time any good feeling that comes from doing this is short lived, because even though we have vented, we have are still holding onto the annoyance, perhaps even waiting for another opportunity to vent to someone else.
In fact, often times talking about it gives the unpleasantness more energy and strengthens it. At the same time we don't want to supress being annoyed or feeling uncomfortable. The Way of the Voice of Peace is to neither discourage, nor encourage whatever comes up in these situations. By complaining we are encouraging the negative feeling within.
Instead of instantly reacting, we can learn to respond mindfully to life's distasteful and annoying situations in away that can bring about peace.
The following is an excerpt from Chapter 5 - China.
When we learn not to complain, we come to understand there really is not much to complain about. This is not to say we should remain silent when we witness or experience genuine injustice, but there is a time and place for such an expression. To complain constantly and play the perpetual victim does not serve anyone and can become an annoying habit to everyone involved.
In fact, often times talking about it gives the unpleasantness more energy and strengthens it. At the same time we don't want to supress being annoyed or feeling uncomfortable. The Way of the Voice of Peace is to neither discourage, nor encourage whatever comes up in these situations. By complaining we are encouraging the negative feeling within.
Instead of instantly reacting, we can learn to respond mindfully to life's distasteful and annoying situations in away that can bring about peace.
The following is an excerpt from Chapter 5 - China.
When we learn not to complain, we come to understand there really is not much to complain about. This is not to say we should remain silent when we witness or experience genuine injustice, but there is a time and place for such an expression. To complain constantly and play the perpetual victim does not serve anyone and can become an annoying habit to everyone involved.
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