When we have experienced the ugliness of life, (i.e trauma or difficulty) which we all have, it often informs the actions of our present situation. One way this shows is we fear the ugliness of life. We do not want to once again go through painful or difficult situations., so we base our present actions due to what has been and our fear of what is to become. We become a perpetual victim of past trauma. However we no longer need to carry the past and we do not need to fear the ugliness or messiness of life.
Since the ugliness cannot be avoided we must learn to deal with it on our terms. How do we do this?
As we are going through a difficult or painful situation, go through it with the intent that the goal is to come out of the situation clear. That is to say we do not want to carry the situation into the future. That when it is over, it is over.
We do this by simply feeling the experience as we are feeling it, without trying to change it.
We do not want to be carried away by the changing flow of life, we want to choose to follow, which in turn allows us to dis-engage or engage on our terms. We are no longer compelled to act based on a past experience or the fear of the future.
Do not be afraid of the ugliness in life. Live in the present with the goal in mind of not carrying it into the future so the past can be healed.
I take this one to heart Rich. Many people I have met and work with in my recovery say I have such a great attitude about my injury. It is not that my attitude is good or great. It is simply that I have chosen to just experience and observe what has happened and is still happening to me.
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