a different question

Recently I overheard someone ask another person "Why did you do that?" The person being asked the question had done something the questioner found inappropriate. The question was not asked looking for an answer, but asked as a condemnation of the action. The question was met with silence. It could easily have been met with a lie, a justification or an attempt at explaining.

My guess is, if someone asks that question, an explanation is somewhat futile since that person is already in a state in which they are not looking to understand but are in a state of judgement. Of course, there are times the question is genuine and the questioner is looking to truly understand.

Perhaps if the case is which you do want to understand the other person, a different question you can ask is " Are you aware of what you just did?" This gives the person the opportunity to look inward to their own motivations without the judgement of others.

We can save the question of "Why did we do that?" for ourselves. Better yet, prior to acting ask the question  "Why am I doing what I am doing?".

This is one of the three question I suggest to ask of ourselves in The Way of the Voice of Peace, which lead us out of the triangle game of being a victim, persecutor or hero (rescuer).