being different

I want to begin by saying this post is not about parenting but about a lesson I learned while in the process of parenting.

The other day my daughter Jade was playing with two other friends in the brook across the street from our house. As I sat there observing, I watched as one of her friends kicked stones and water at Jade while her back was turned. Jade immediately turned around and retaliated by kicking stones and water right back at her friend.

I was quick to tell Jade in a very firm voice not to do that. To her credit she did not react to my reprimand by pointing the finger at her friend and saying "But she..." She just stopped, walked away and resumed playing in the brook.

When we returned home I told her I saw that her friend had done it first and I understood why she did what she did. I asked her though if she understood why I told her not to do it. She didn't know. I asked her if she liked what her friend did to her. Of course she said no. So I said to her that if she did what her friend did, she would be acting in a way she did not like. That if she did not like it in her friend, she would not like it in herself.

The moral of this story is we do not want to react to another persons actions that we do not like with the same action. We want to be different. We want to act in a way that we like.

In the end, one way gives us temporary satisfaction with the long term result in not liking who we are. The other way is to take the high road and forgo reaction and revenge for a long term result of feeling right within our own skin.